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| Aly days before diagnosis |
So it's been a while since I have updated the blog, and I often get comments from people asking why it hasn't been updated, or asking that I please update. I took some time today to look at some of my first entries and realized that my first entry was just over a year ago, July 13th to be exact. Going back to read the first few entries brought be back to a time that seems like forever ago. It was interesting to see that an entry was made on this day in 2011, and as it turns out, was quite a challenging day for us. Seems like a lifetime ago, as I look up and see Aly giggling now as she runs around the house throwing her little bouncy balls down the hall and rolls on the floor in laughter as the dogs chase them around sliding on the wood floors and crashing into walls. A year ago today we a tough one. It was the third week of our treatment and everything was still so new and fresh. I think I was on autopilot at this time and as I look back it is much harder for me to read it, as I am sure it was for me to write it then. I was so deep into it, that I had no perspective to understand what was really happening .... but that day was a bit of an eye opener. It was a very uncomfortable time for Aly and I remember that we barely stepped foot outside last summer, so when people talk about the weather last year and compare this summer to last - -I have absolutely no input. I couldn't remember if it was hot, windy, rainy or anything. I do remember late in the summer there was a heavy rainfall, and that some of the streets were flooded, but I now realize that the "outside" world was not something that I was thinking about. My second entry in the blog was "Why I hate dexamethazone". This one really hit home with many readers, as did "Bonding over a fried egg sandwich". I had many people come up to me, or write to me personally and on the blog about how these posts impacted them. They would tell me that they actually took the time to make an egg sandwich with their kids and spend some quality time with them .....wow. These were actually the 2 posts that made me commit to the blog. I knew that people were reading it, and not only was it helping me, but it was helping others. Helping others keep updated on Aly's fight, but also helping others appreciate their own lives and stop and take sometime to spend with their kids. Over the next few months the blog was updated weekly, and sometimes daily. We spent a lot of time in the hospital and once Aly was asleep there was not much for me to do so writing became my priority. The blog was also created to document our journey and to alleviate some of the burden that our families had in updating close friends, neighbors and family. Cancer treatment is complex - - lots of phases, lost of clinic visits, lots of tests, transfusions, drugs with big names that now just roll off my tongue and lots and lots of waiting. Its crazy to think our parents could not only keep up with it all, but even understand it without being caught up in the emotions. I feel like when I received the confirmation that Aly in fact had cancer, I took a few minutes to have my breakdown, but literally got back up on my feet and said "Ok now what". When I did that, I know I left alot of people behind ( not literally) with their jaws open in awe of what was happening. Many did not move forward and accept it as quickly as I did ( I didn't have time to live in denial) and a lot of their time was spent trying to figure out how it would happen to such young innocent and otherwise healthy child, and trying to find something to blame as to why she "got" cancer.
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| Aly - summer 2012 |
What a difference a year can make. Getting here was no walk in the garden, that's for sure - but we made it. The journey is not over, but the fight continues and we really appreciate the country we live in, our health care system and access to the drugs and phenomenal doctors and nurses that we have. I do not take any of that for granted. Since starting this blog I have also started a twitter account for aly (@alysfight) and have began to follow other children, from around the world, that are currently fighting some form of childhood cancers like leukemia. I see that they do not have access to the drugs, local care or studies that we have been fortunate to receive. It breaks my heart to see that in the UK families need to raise insane amounts of money to travel abroad just to have surgery and treatments that we have access to here in Canada. Given the size of the clinic (quite small) we have here in Kingston at KGH, they would, in my mind earn a "world class rating" for the facilities, care and honest interest the medical teams have in each and every child. They know all of our names, a bit of what our lives are like, and know our kids better than many of our close friends and even family do.
As Aly continues her fight, we need to get prepared for her next challenge, the one that will be harder for me to handle than I would have thought ........ the fact that she starts Jr Kindergarten in September !!!
